I’ve recently taken a large break from posting on Instagram and whilst I was taking this step back, I found it quite difficult to start posting again and I was talking with one of my business friends about why it is so difficult to start on Instagram and it opened up a whole discussion around how everyone treats Instagram like its a beauty pageant. So if you are someone who is just getting started, or who is sick of seeing the same crap posted on instagram all the time, then this is for you.
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So when we’re talking about beauty pageants, Theres a lot of work that goes into them. You have to prepare for weeks and months in advance. You have to follow all the rules, have all the right answers and put a lot of thought and effort into it. You need to pick out the best clothes, have gorgeous makeup, stylish hair, the best poses, a captivating walk. A beauty pageant isn’t an insight into reality. It’s an opportunity to present yourself in the best possible light.
The same can be said for Instagram.
And of course this isn’t true for all instagram accounts, but we’re talking about a generalisation because looking at the majority of the platform most people are treating it like a beauty pageant.
There are so many people who sit down and obsessively plan how their feed is going to look and how they can make it look more aesthetically pleasing. I know this because my clients come into my program wanting to know how they can make better content, how they can take better pictures, and how they can edit it to make it more beautiful and eye catching.
There are people who are photoshopping their bodies, so that they can be slimmer, have bigger boobs, larger eyes, more volume in their hair, etc.
There are people who’s online personlity is completely different to real life. Online they appear to be so confident and charasmatic, but in real life have the personality of a wet rag. Online they appear to be ‘relationship goals’ but in person they remind you of that ex that you stayed with way too long, even though your friends kept saying you deserved better. Online they have the latest fashion, the newest house, the fanciest car, the designer handbags, but in reality they’re being swallowed alive by debt.
And if you don’t know anyone in your real life who has a personal brand online, you might not see this side to them. You might not know the difference between their real life and what they post online.
These Instagram users remind me of a duck, you see them out on online, and they look calm on top. They’re gliding gracefully along the water but if you take a sneak peek underneath the surface or into their real life, they’re frenzied, their little legs are going a million miles per hour just to keep up the illusion.
It’s never as simple, or as luxurious as it seems.
When we fall into this trap of feeling like we always need to have our hair and makeup done, of feeling like we need to be confident before we can take action, then that’s when it makes it so much harder to start.
The more complicated a process is, the easier it is to say no. It’s the reason why you so many people give up before they’ve really started, because there is too many barriers to entry and the effort outweighs the reward.
I honestly think thats why TikTok recently has boomed. Because on TikTok, there isn’t that need for highly curated content, for perfect faces, perfect bodies, perfect clothes, etc. It’s just sharing a message in its simplest form.
But I also think that’s why instagram users, have found it challenging to start on TikTok. Because we’ve been conditioned to treat social media like a beauty pageant, it’s so confronting to now be told to strip that away and show up in the most simplest form. It goes against everything we know about social media, about being professional online and about getting likes and views, and clients.
Most of my clients are millennials or Gen Z and I see a very stark difference between them. Millennials were brought up by Gen X, who have very different views on what being professional means, and millennials have carried that. They are often working a corporate job under these Gen X before deciding to start their own businesses, whereas Gen Z they’ve been on social media before they’ve worked in corporate, so they don’t have those reservations. They can show up just as they are and that’s why TikTok has grown in popularity over the years because it’s easier to embrace by younger generations.
Previously, to stand out you needed to look professional and put together. But now the way consumers interact with your content and ultimately buy isn’t based on that. Now of course it depends on the industry, but as online service providers, there are a million people out there who are doing the same things as you, so you need to find a different way to stand out.
The thing that captures attention now days, isn’t who has the best clothes, the best photos, or who is the most attractive. What captures attention is trust and influence.
I read something the other day from a book you might have heard called ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People in the digital age‘ – I highly reccomend it if you haven’t read it, especially if you are an online service provider, or wanting to build a personal brand online. But and it said: “We’re all imperfect and full of flaws, and this affords us many opportunities to build trust and influence”…“The thing that builds a bridge of influence between two friends is the same principle that builds a bridge of influence between a business and its customers and that is to be valued by another.”
You can build trust and influence whether you are the best looking person online or someone who is still in bed, in a hoodie, no make up. Because appearance doesn’t build trust or influence, value does.
But at the end of the day you’ve been conditioned to think that you can’t post a video with crazy hair in your baggy hoodie because that might damage your reputation or your brand, you might end up getting trolls or haters who judge or comment.
But then on the other side of the coin, you also can’t be bothered getting ready to film, doing your hair, doing the research on trends, etc, and so you don’t. You tell yourself maybe tomorrow. And this continues until suddenly it’s been 2 months and you haven’t posted. I’m curious to see if you’ve been caught up in this pattern before as well.
Real conversations will catch fire, it’s why I tell all my clients there is only 1 skill you need to be mastering at the moment, and that is storytelling. In a world where everyone is screaming over one another for attention it’s easy to get caught up in focusing on how to best broadcast your message. It’s easier to think that you need to look better, have more clothes, have more money, take better photos, learn more information, in order to share your message and make an impact. But when you do that, you forget that at the end of the day you’re aiming for connection, influence and trust.
There is one benefit from this and that is people are so used to seeing self promotion all the time, that if you can master the art of influence and become an amazing storyteller, where you are completely focusing on your ideal client, you will be able to make them feel so seen, heard and understood and it will take you less time and energy and have a greater impact.
When I started my business, and first started posting on Instagram, now this was back in the travel content creation and photography days. It was the era of instagram where travel influencers would have photos of their back to the camera and overly curated feeds. Now I became a photographer, because I liked being behind the camera, not in front but because it was a photo sharing app, I thought this could be a good one to use and it went well in the beginning. I didn’t have to show my face or personality, I didn’t have to talk on camera, but as Instagram evolved to be more creator focused, I found it difficult to transition and start showing up as me online. I was really insecure about my appearance. I never fit into the influencer mould, I didn’t have the slim figure, the beautiful features like they did and so I avoided creating content that showed my full body. All my photos were from the waist upwards, I always had make up on and my hair was always done. It took me so much effort and time to create this content because of my own insecurities because I was focused on self promotion, I was focused on making my instagram page a beauty pageant, rather than building connection, trust and influence.
And looking back now, I think that is so crazy, because I see so many amazing people online that have so much value and I couldn’t care whether they’re a size 6 or a size 26.
Have you ever taken a photo of someone and you think it’s a really nice photo and then they look at it and go “oh no we need another one” because of something that only they see and you look back at the photo and think “what?! It’s such a good photo, I would have never have noticed that or thought about it”.
That’s what life is. People will never care as much you do, half the time people aren’t noticing anyway. We are always our own harshest critic. But when you take these insecurities and prejudices into showing up on social media, you’re just adding another barrier to entry.
You’re giving yourself another reason or excuse as to why its not possible for you.
I coach people on this so often, about how they can build up their own self belief and confidence so that they can stop treating their Instagram accounts like a beauty pageant, because when you do, you’re not only holding back yourself, but all your clients and the people who are inspired by your story.
If we go back to the story I told you about me being scared to show my face and body online because I didn’t look like those instagram models, If I never choose that my vision was more powerful, then I would never have started my business as a coach. I would have never been able to work with amazing clients, I would have never been able to help them build their own confidence, they would have never been able to quit their jobs, and create their own online freedom based business, because they wouldn’t of had access to me or my journey.
Every time you choose to keep falling into the pattern of treating your Instagram like a beauty pageant to stay comfortable, you’re not only doing yourself a huge disservice, but you’re doing your clients, your potential clients and their clients and their potential clients a huge disservice too.
If this topic has resonated with you, I have spots available inside my coaching program where we really dive head first into this. I’ve designed my programs to teach you how to build your self belief and confidence, how to master the art of influence & how to be a magnet for opportunities so that you can show up authentically, be a trailblazer and stand out in the crowd. Whilst yes we will be diving into your business, this work goes deeper. Your business is an extension of you and so if you want to grow your business, you need to look deeper at the foundations. And thats why this work is so lifechanging because it seeps out into every aspect of your life and elevates it all. So if you are interested in learning more about working with me, click here and we can jump on a strategy call.
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